Hey,
It's been a while since i've made a post. It's like 5:00 am on a Thursday morning and a nigga can't sleep. I've been up thinking about things. I've been going through a phase of not being able to create.
It's been fucking me up ever since, and this has really took an effect on me, since I love getting my ideas on paper. I guess you can say I'm having "creator's block" or whatever you want to call it.
I look around at the world, and I see all these people that are involved in different sectors and areas of life, some of these people might be feeling liberated and content with where they are or what they are doing. Sometimes I think like "Would there ever be a point where you are truly content with everything that you have?" Like everything that you ever able to achieve, is there a point, where a person can finally be happy with where they are in their lives. Obviously, we all dream of having a lifestyle where we're comfortable, happy and content.
Sometimes I think like "I'm only chasing this silly dream, because I don't want to work for somebody sustain their dreams" and society sometimes has a way of making you feel guilty for wanting to do something for yourself, especially when it doesn't fit with everybody's ideals. I want to be content with my life. I do want to find fulfillment in whatever I choose to do, even if it doesn't give me the best living situations possible. I hope that doesn't happen, but what I want happen is being able to wake up in the morning and feel alive. Feel like you truly have a reason for living, and not having to live for a reason. I'm seeing a lot of people like my parents are stressed out with responsibilities, their jobs, their economic situation and their future. I don't want to live like that, but guess what, I'm slowly being integrated into that type of situation. I don't want to.
But is it a silly dream? Can you tell a bunch of 9 and 10 year old's that being a "Movie Star" is a silly? or becoming an "Astronaut" silly? Of course not, but as you get older, you start to realize that if you can't sustain that dream or make it a reality then you're forced to find something practical, and that's usually something that some people hate. Not because it provides stability, because even if you are "stable" you can still feel like their no meaning or no importance to you life or what you do for a living.
Before we leave out this bitch, you ought to want to leave a legacy right? It doesn't need to be like a Michael Jackson legacy and all of that, but it could something as small as being a great influence on your friends, family or an group or some shit. Some people do. Some people don't. The ones that don't, possibly won't be remembered much. The ones that do, will always be in the history books for many generations to see, and that is the greatest gift you can give society and mankind before you leave out this bitch. Would you want achieve that?
For me, sure I would like to, but it would sad if you set that bar that height and that goal goes unfulfilled. That's what we call "despair" Anyways. I hate this awful "creator's block" and I feel like my imagination has been bland, but I'm sure that happens to all you artsy fartsy motherfuckers.
On a lighter note. I've deleted my Souncloud, Hulkshare and Youtube accounts. I'm still trying to re-organize all my shit, so I can have everything in order, and easier for all of you viewers.
You can still get on my facebook page and like that shit.
https://www.facebook.com/rizeyrickoni
Oh, and I might be dropping a comic series coming this September that I will be posting on here. I will also be putting up an Artworks Page, so you will be able to see my visual works.
Take care.
Rizey.
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